We each have our own rules

Me: Hannah, it's very important that you ask before touching things that don't belong to you. Some of Mommy's things are special and I don't want them to get broken.
Hannah: Oh. Ok.

*runs to pick up a stuffed animal*

Hannah, eyebrows raised and very stern: You see this Mommy?
Me: Yes?
Hannah: Well you don't touch it! Don't EVER touch it! It's VERY FRAGILE!
Me: Ok, I'll be sure to ask before I touch it.
Hannah: Ok, because if you touch it without asking, I'll be very disappointed in you!
Me: Ok baby, I'll make sure to ask first.
Hannah: Ok, or we're NOT going to go to McDonalds and you CAN'T go on the climber.
Me: Understood.

Of genetalia, memory, and my lack of time machine

In the car on the way home yesterday:

"Momma? I don't have a penis."
"Nope! Boys have a penis, and you're a girl!"
"I want to be a boy."
"Do you want to be a boy just because you want to have a penis?"
"hmmm, yeah."
"Well, girls have special parts too you know, they're just harder to see because they're inside of your body. You have a uterus where you can grow a baby when you're all grown up you know!"
"Yeah! I do! You do to and that's where I grew before I was born!"
"Yup!"
"And when I'm grown up, I can have a baby too!"
"Yup! If you want to!"
*pause*
"But I don't remember when I was a baby when I was born."
"No, people can't remember when they were born sweetie. I don't remember when I was born."
"Oh. Well, I want to see me come out when I was a baby."
"Sorry, I don't have any pictures of that."
"BUT I WANT TO! I DON'T WANT PICTURES, I just want to SEE IT!"
"Well, maybe someday you can see a baby being born."
"NO, I want to see ME being born."
"But you're already born, we can't go back and see it."
"But I WANT TO!"
"Well I'm sorry, I'm afraid we have no way to do that."
"Oh. Well when you're a baby I'll see you be born then I think."
"No honey, people only grow and get older, not younger."
"hrmph"

Overheard while Hannah plays in the bath...

"Come here penguins! What do you think you are doing!? GET BACK HERE YOU FOOLS!"

*pause*

"Get down there you fools, you are IN MY WAY!"

*pause*

"HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH! I've GOT YOU!"

"Ok, ok, I was trying to stop you guys, but you can go. I can be friendly."

Kids are creeeeeeeeeeepy

Hannah, as I was writing something on the calendar: Momma! JUST WHAT do you think you are DOING!?

Me: That's not how you talk to me.

Hannah: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING MAMMA!?

Me: Hannah, stop yelling, and stop talking to me like that...it's very rude.

Hannah: Oh. Sorry. *very sweetly, while smiling* Oh Mommy? Just what do you think you are doing?

Me: *sigh* I'm writing on the calendar. Go play on the computer or something weirdo.

Future Female President

Hannah: Mommy, who's that?
Me: Who's who?
Hannah: That on the TV.
Me: Oh that's Nancy Pelosi...she's the Speaker of the House.
Hannah: Is she a semator?
Me: No, she's a congresswoman...she's in the house of representatives...it's kinda like a Senator though.
Hannah: Oh. I think she's nice.
Me: Yeah, she's pretty cool.
Hannah: And who's that guy?
Me: That's Barney Frank, he's a congressman from Massachusetts.
Hannah: Is he a nice guy?
Me: Yeah, he's pretty nice.
Hannah: But not John McCain, he's naughty.

It's all true, what you say

Hannah has been practicing pluralization lately, well, that and rhyming. Anyway, she's been practicing the plurals of words where the plural isn't just adding an "s" at the end. So she'll say, "Mama! There's one mouse, and two mice! There's one goose, or two geese!" She's doing quite well, if I do say so myself.

The other day, in the car, she pipes up from the backseat with, "Mama! There's one child or two chi-chi-chi....children!" I was very impressed, and told her such. Then came, "And sometimes children are called honeys! One honey, or two honeys!"

I didn't tell her that there was once a time when I was occasionally referred to as "a honey"...it didn't seem relevant.

A letter to Daddy

Dear Daddy,

I love you Daddy Too! I want a hug please! Can I have kisses please!? I miss you so much! I love you more than rabbits! I love rabbits! Please can I play with you? May I have exercises with you when you get home?

I want to tell you a story about a hat. I love hats. It's about a girl with a hat on her. One day the hat falls in the river. Then one day, she went in, swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, and got the hat and put it back on her head! Then one day, she fell in the river, then she climbed back on the porch. Then one day, the porch broke in pieces! Then the broken pieces fell in the river! Then a flower growed and growed and growed and growed! Then the flower fell apart in pieces and looked very beautiful! Then the sun and the moon fell down into the river in pieces! That's the end.

Love, Hannah