My new favorite thing...

...is evesdropping on Hannah playing with her friend Lucy...because they're both very...ummmm...creative.

Hannah: What about the trash dog's baby? It has a papercut right here.
Lucy: Yeah, but it's a trash dog, so it sounds like an old lady.
Hannah: It has a papercut though, like you have on your finger.
Lucy: If it was a splinter, my dad could pull it out.
Hannah: *in high pitched voice* Don't listen to the trash family! They just said your baby is weird. The trash family works for the queen and she said it's stupid!
Lucy: Oh isn't she very cute!
Hannah: *whispering* pretend he wants to be nice but he's grouchy.
Lucy: I am mister grouchy face!
Hannah: I see your wife mr. grouchy face! She looks kinda grouchy too!
Lucy: grouch grouch grouch!
Hannah: She sounds funny.
Lucy: Yeah, she can't talk like us.
Hannah: Why not?
Lucy: She got poisoned.

It should be noted that they were playing cards.

That does sound like a fun place...

Overheard while Hannah and her friend Lucy were playing in the next room:

Lucy: Let's pretend we're werewolves!
Hannah: Ok! Want to go hang out at the werewolf club? They have TV and soccer games and kangaroo kickboxing!

What a state we're in...

Me: "So what did you do at school today?"
Hannah: "ummm...we learned about liquids vs. solids."
Me: "Neat! So how might a liquid, like water, become solid?"
Hannah: "It would freeze!"
Me: "Right! And if it melted, what state would the water be in then?"
Hannah: "hmmm...Texas maybe?"

I like cold beverages

Hannah: "Tim? What's a beverage?"
Tim: "It's another word for drink."
Hannah: "Oh."

A few minutes later...

Tim: "Did you finish your drink?"
Hannah: "Yup, I beveraged it all up!"

Remember when you weren't fat?

Hannah: "Hey Mom? Remember when we used to live with Margaret?"
Me: "Yeah?"
Hannah: "I miss Margaret."
Me: "Me too; we'll have to visit her soon."
Hannah: "I remember when we lived with Margaret, and you were skinny."
Me: "When I was skinny? You mean I'm not skinny now?"
Hannah: "Well, you're not AS skinny."
Me: "Are you trying to tell me I'm getting fat?"
Hannah: "Only a little fatter. You're still mostly skinny but just a little bit fatter."

Well I guess that's something.

Soylent Green?

Me: "Whatcha drawing?"
Hannah: "A machine"
Me: "Oh yeah? What kind of machine?"
Hannah: "It makes food so you won't have to go grocery shopping anymore!"
Me: "That's awesome! How does it make the food?"
Hannah: "Well, you put stuff in the top here, and then the food comes out of the bottom over here."
Me: "Oh? Well, what do you put in the top?"
Hannah: "Ingredients."
Me: "Well then I'd still need to shop for the ingredients!"
Hannah: "Wait! There will be no ingredients, only seeds!"
Me: "So all the food will grow from seeds in the machine?"
Hannah: "YES!"
Me: "What about foods that don't grow from seeds?"
Hannah: "What foods?"
Me: "Like bacon."
Hannah: "What does bacon come from?"
Me: "Pig meat."
Hannah: "No way!"
Me: "No really, seriously. It's made out of pig meat."
Hannah: *sigh* "Well, then I guess you'll just have to go shopping for seeds and pig meat."

A Hannah joke

"Hey Mom, want to hear a trick question!?"
"I'd love to!"
"What's got 12 feet but only one hand?"
"I have no idea."
"A cyclops hand with 12 feet! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"
"I would never have guessed that! I hope he's friendly, cause a cyclops hand with 12 feet sounds a little scary to me."

Hannah immediately adopts an expression of concern, approaches me, and gently pats my arm.

"Don't worry Mama...it's only really a man in a costume."

She clearly thinks I'm very fragile.