Double Jeopardy

Alex Trebek: This Italian explorer was the first European to sail into New York harbor.

Hannah: DORA! Dora the Explorer! It was Dora the Explorer mom!

Answer: Verrazano

Me: Good try Hannah...you were very close, but I think Dora's Spanish.

An observation

Hannah got a happy meal today...a rare occurrence...and inside was a transformers toy: Optimus Prime.

Hannah: Momma, I got Octopus Prime!
Me: That's great!
Hannah: Mom?
Me: Yes?
Hannah: Octopus Prime is a robot.
Me: Yup.
Hannah: Robots don't have a place to pee.
Me: Do you suppose that's a problem?
Hannah: No, silly, they're robots!
Me: Ok then.

Did anyone expect that she wouldn't be a smart ass?

Me at the grocery store: "Hannah, please stay right with me."

Hannah proceeds to wander off while yelling, "Hey Mom, what are you looking for?!"

Me: "Hannah just stay with me please."

Hannah: "Is that what you're looking for Mom, some Hannah-just-stay-with me? Is that what you were looking for, huh?!"

It's already begun.

She didn't ask.

Before entering Target, I told Hannah that if she asked for anything, she'd be getting nothing.

Hannah, immediately upon entering: "OHHH, Momma! Can I have...
Me: *glare*
Hannah: ...a hug?\
Me: surrrrre.
Hannah, casually: Hey Mom?
Me: Yeah.
Hannah: I sure to like that toy. I wish I could have it sometime but not right now but maybe later or something.

It's been a while...

...she didn't stop being funny; life just caught up with us.

/end excuse.

At the grocery store, to reward her for her good behavior, I purchased for her her favorite candy: Sweedish Fish. Yeah, I don't get it, but whatever...I suppose there could be worse things. In the car on the way home:

"Mommy, thank you for buying me these Sweedish Fish."
"You're welcome baby...I thought you should have them because you were so good at the store!"
"You mean, I was..um...considering?"
"Pardon?"
"I was considering you, right?!"
"Yes, you were being very considerate, thank you!"
"Yes. I was. Also, you were considering me when you got me these Sweedish Fish."
"Yes, I suppose I was!"
"Here Mommy...this Sweedish Fish is your Sweedish fish for considering me. That was a good job!"

I ate it even though I don't really like them. I love her.

Thanks for the update

3:30AM today: "Momma? Momma? Momma?"

"Yes?"

"See how long my hair is getting!? It's getting REALLLY LONG!"

"That's great baby, can you please go to sleep now?"

Points for using the word correctly

This is actually from a few days ago, but I've been busy.

I arrived at preschool to Hannah's teacher pulling me aside and in hushed tones relating the following:

"While Hannah and another friend were in the bathroom, the other little girl had some trouble wiping and got some feces on her hand."
"Ok?"
"Hannah told her not to worry about it, that it was just shit."
"huh, well, at least she used it correctly. I mean, I never do that, so I'm not sure where she even heard it where it wasn't the result of injury or panic."

Upon reflection, boyfriend and I think it was probably when someone referenced cat or dog shit. We're not entirely sure.

Judge not, lest ye...

Ok, so we got home kinda late last night and were rushing to get our stuff in the house and into bed. I send Hannah upstairs to get her pj's on. A few minutes later, I hear one of the worst things I've ever heard:

"Mamma? I don't have any more diapers."

I think to myself, ok, this just cannot be. There are like three emergency bags of items in this house, diaper bags, etc. I spend the next several minutes examining every nook and cranny and bag and storage container that had any potential. I finally realized that yes, it's 9:30pm, I've told Hannah we can have a slumber party in Mommy's bed, and she has absolutely no diapers. I can't go to the store at this hour and anyway, Hannah's naked and looking at me like I'm an alien.

I start combing through all my medical supplies when I come across a extra-super absorbancy menstrual pad that was likely given to me at the hospital when I had her. For half a second I'm thrilled, then suddenly horrified, then just unsure. Will this work? Will she know that I'm up to something?

"Hey Hannah, for tonight you can wear underpants with this kind of diaper and we'll go get you some more of your kind of diaper tomorrow!"
"I can wear underpants to bed!? Like a big girl!?"
"Yes, just for tonight, and we'll keep working on getting you up to use the potty at night so you can start wearing them all the time soon!"
"YES! I can't wait to tell all my friends at school tomorrow that I got to wear a special diaper that goes in my underpants!"
"Uh...uh...uh...well, um...well...uh...maybe we shouldn't tell your friends. They might feel bad that they didn't get to use one."
"Oh yeah, cause they're just little."
"Right-o."