I know I've gained a few pounds, but have mercy.

"Come on Hannah, it's time to get dressed."
"I don't want to wear clothes, I want to wear pajamas"
"Well we don't wear pajamas to school...come get dressed."
"I don't want to wear jeans today."
"Well what do you want to wear?"
"ummmm...hmmm...I want to wear Mommy's clothes"
"Mommy's clothes don't fit you, they're too big."
"You're too big?"
"*sigh* Yes, I suppose, but I'm working on it."
"You're a big girl!"
"Thanks sweetie."

Things you didn't know about Cinderella

Hannah has a scratch on her nose. It started out small, but she keeps scratching it. I've tried keeping her fingernails clipped and telling her to leave it alone, but no luck. So, this morning, I broke down and acquieced to her demand for a bandaid. She now has a lovely hello kitty bandaid across the bridge of her nose.

"Mama! You got this kitty bandaid for me!?"
"Yes, now leave it alone."
"I have a bandaid, just like a princess!"
"What princess has a bandaid?"
"Cinderella has a bandaid?"
"She does? I don't think I've ever seen that...when does she wear a bandaid?"
*pause*
"Sometimes!"

False accusations

I sat down next to Hannah on the couch this morning and bumped her.

Hannah: "Mama! You kicked me!"
Me: "No I didn't...kicking is when someone hits you with their foot."
Hannah: *thinking* "oh...you kicked me with your bum!"

Quote for January 24th

When I was putting Hannah to bed last night, I said, "Sweet dreams!" which is something I don't normally say.

Hannah: "What?"
Me: "I said, Sweet Dreams baby!"
Hannah: "What sweet dreams?"
Me: "That means that I hope you have good dreams when you sleep."
Hannah: "Why?"
Me: "Because it's nice to have good dreams."
Hannah: "oh......why?"
Me: "Go to sleep Hannah"
Hannah: "Ok mama, sweep dreams!"

I'm slacking...

...but it is, in a large part, because Hannah's been hanging out with her dad and grandparents and I haven't gotten many good quotes lately. So, I'll add a few that will have to count as a sampling of the last week...

1. "Mommy! It's 7:30?" "yes baby" "It's time for Jeopardy!?" "it sure is!" "oh! It's quiet time?!"

2. "Mommy! Jeopardy is all done?" "yup!" "YAY! IT'S TALKING TIME!!!"

3. "Mommy, I'm a silly piggy. hahhaa, no I'm not, I was teasing you! I'm just an owl! WHOO-WHOO!"

4. "That snow's not pretty! It's dirty! It's yucky! Don't put that in your mouth, it makes Hannah's sick!"

5. "Mommy! Those friends are cannibals!" *She was watching toy story and some of the toys were referred to as "cannibals", but it took me a minute to figure out what she was talking about, haha.

Grocery shopping is such a joy...

I informed Hannah that we will be going to the grocery store this evening after she get done at school. The grocery store is apparently akin to Disney World in the mind of a 2 year old, so she's very excited.

Hannah: We'll go to the grocery store, and I'll ride in a green car, and have a cookie!?
Me: Yup! And we'll buy lots of fruit, and vegetables, and milk!
Hannah: And we'll go see the MOBSTERS!!!
Me: Yes, of course.


Mobsters are lobsters. We are from Maine after all, so it's entirely possible that the lobsters are actually running everything from behind the scenes. Nothing would surprise me at this point.

Retroactive funny

Tuesday's quote comes from Hannah's dad. He told her that her grandmother and grandfather from England will be coming to see her (this weekend actually).

Dad: Gramma and Grampa are coming all the way from England to see you!
Hannah: I want to go to England! *pause* I want to go to England to see Santa and the reindeer!



We've clearly had a miscommunication somewhere.

Your guess is as good as mine

On the way home from daycare, while trying to plan dinner:

Me: So Hannah, what did you have for lunch today?
Hannah: hmmmm....hmmmm....hmmm...
Hannah's Daddy: Do you remember what you ate before your nap?
Hannah: hmmmm...maybe...maybe...hmmm...maybeeeeee cereal?
Hannah's Daddy: I think that's what you had for breakfast, do you remember what you ate for lunch?
Hannah: maybe...hmmm....maybe cheese?

Something on your mind darling?

Hannah was evidently contemplating when I called this evening:

Hannah: Mama?
Me: Hi baby! What are you doing?
Hannah: Brett has a peanut (Brett is one of her little friends from preschool).
Me: *pause* Do you mean a penis?
Hannah: NOO, a PEANUT!
Me: Oh! Well that's ok, right?
Hannah: hmmm...sure.

She didn't sound particularly certain.

Saturday's quote!

Hannah's at her Dad's this weekend. During one of our phone calls yesterday, she decided to gather some information to determine whether or not I had a reasonable excuse for my absence.

"Mama? What did you do today?"
"Well, I've been busy cleaning."
"Did you have a meeting? Did you visit FRIENDS?!"
"Well, no, not really, I've just been cleaning."
"Oh. You will come visit me later."
"I'll come visit you on Monday! I'll come pick you up and give you a ride to school!"
"Oh. *pause* I want cookies."

She's learning guilt-blackmail I see.

Going from yesterday...

On the way to preschool this morning, I declared that I love her more than Yellow.

Hannah: I love you more than GREEN!
Me: Oh! Well I really love Green too!
Hannah: No! I like green!
Me: Oh! Well alright then. Hey Hannah?
Hannah: *grunt*
Me: I love you Hannah!
Hannah: NO! I'M GREEN!


I'm not sure which of us is more confused.

And she really likes bread, too.

"Mama, I love you more than bread!"

She likes me ok...

I was getting Hannah dressed this morning when she looked up at me, smiled sweetly, and put her hand on my face and said, "Mummy, you're my nice girl."

That was nearly too much to take on a crazy morning.

Quote for January 8th...

"Mummy, I'm runnin!"
"Mummy, I'm runnin!"
"Mummy, I'm runnin!"
*crash*
"Mummy, I fell down, didn't I!?"
"Don't worry Mummy, I'm ok, I'm ok, silly Hannah...I don't need a bandaid!"

Yesterday's quote

Hannah was not in the mood to go to bed last night. I convinced her that she must go to bed because her new stuffed Shrek doll was waiting for her upstairs and he was lonely. She proceeded to climb the stairs calling out, "I'm coming Shrek! I'm coming! Don't worry Shrek, wait for me! It will be ok!" I felt a little bad, but it was funny.

When we got to her room she climbed into bed and hugged him and said, "Don't worry Shrek, I'm here now" and then patted him on the belly and quietly whispered, "I'm so proud of you Shrek."

I may die of cute overload one of these days.

Let's try a new movie...

So Hannah asked if she could watch my dvd of The Last Unicorn that I received for Christmas. I think it *may* be a little scary at times, but no worse than the other Disney movies she likes and certainly less violent than some. Anyway, I was putting it into the DVD player...

Me: Ok, you can watch this, but if it gets too scary, you tell mommy and we'll watch something else, ok?
Hannah: It's not too scary mommy!
Me: Well if it GETS too scary, just tell me ok?
Hannah: Ok mommy. *she pauses to consider for a moment, then looks up at me and pats my leg* Let's not have it be scary Mamma, let's have it just be beautiful, ok?

She kills me sometimes.

Hands are tricky

Hannah had just announced that she was done with her oatmeal. I took her bowl away and was wetting a washcloth at the sink.

Hannah: "What are you doing Mama?"
Me: "I'm getting a washcloth wet so I can wash your hands."

Hannah puts one of her hands in front of her face and scowls at it. She points at it, then begins poking it with her other hand like a drill sergeant and says, "Hey! Hand! I just cleaned you didn't I?!" After examining it further and finding more oatmeal between her fingers, she states, "You're all sticky! That's naughty!"

*sigh* This isn't some sequel to that Alfred Hitchcock story I hope.

The sunrise was pink

Hannah: "Mama! Look at the pink!"
Me: "Yes, it's the sunrise Hannah...sometimes it turns the sky pink!"
Hannah: "Ohhhh, it's pretty"

*a few minutes later*

Hannah: "Mama! The sky is yellow! Where is the pink?"
Me: "Well, the sky changes colors as the sun rises...now it's yellow because it's closer to day!"
Hannah: "Ohhh, that's because the world has all of the colors, right Mama?"

Backtracking - January 3rd, 2008

I was tucking Hannah into bed and accidentally poked her in the eye.

Hannah: "Mama! You poked my eye!"
Me: "Oh! Are you ok?"
Hannah: "Yeah...I'm ok. *pause* You need to say sorry to me!"
Me: "Oh! I'm sorry baby!"
Hannah: "That's ok Mama, I'm ok. *pause* Good job Mama!"
Me: "Good job for what?"
Hannah: "Good job for saying sorry to me!"

She's working on my manners.

Backtracking - January 2nd, 2008

Driving home -

Hannah: "Mama! Look out! There's a car chasing us!"
Me: "Oh no! I'm terribly frightened!"
Hannah: "Oh don't worry Mama, it's just a car! You're safe with me! It's ok, it's ok Mama!"

She's my protector.

Backtracking - January 1st, 2008

Hannah was at her dads...I called her on the phone:

Hannah: "Hi Mama! I went to Old McDonalds and I went down the slide!"
Me: "Oh good! Did you have a fun time?"
Hannah: "Yup, bye. Here you go Daddy!"

Short and sweet and to the point I guess.

The name of the blog says it all

I can't keep track of all the funny crap my kid says, so this blog is for funny quotes. I'll try to get one for every day, but that seems like pushing it - I'm a busy girl.